make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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