I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
too bad you live with your parents still
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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