Having a random hookup so left but love u
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
