In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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