apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she looked like the before picture.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
