I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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