I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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