We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
