there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
