Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
