Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
