I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
