She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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