when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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