I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
