New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
