Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
