I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
