Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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