the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
