there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
