Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
And then he peed in my hair
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
