woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
