Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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