Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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