apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
