Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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