He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
