Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize