with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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