So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
