Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
