I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize