I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
