Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
