So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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