I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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