He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize