wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
