this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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