apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
