Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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