before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize