About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
