i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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