happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
