Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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