I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
