Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
