it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
