IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
porn star boner night. come get it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
