Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
