I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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