no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
