my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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