So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
