I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
