Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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