My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
